Do I Need a Divorce?

You may be considering if a divorce is something you need. After being married for even a few years, things can get complicated and you may find yourself feeling conflicted, confused, and not sure what to do. This is very normal, and virtually no one enters into a marriage thinking that they will one day need to dissolve it.

At the Quirk Law Group, we are keenly aware you may not have come to a conclusion as to what you want to do, and we’re here to help. We will never push you in one direction, and we’ll be a sounding-board for your worries, concerns, questions, and doubts. That said, we offer sound, professional legal advice and services, and we’re ready to do whatever necessary to ensure you are pursuing a reasonable, achievable, and fair solution to your marital issues.

Understanding your feelings and reasons for considering divorce can be helpful and insightful.

There are questions you can ask yourself to help guide your thinking before you come in to visit us. You may think you want a divorce, but aren’t sure if it’s the right thing to do. Or perhaps your spouse has suggested or asked for a divorce, or has actually left you. Perhaps you’ve both come to the conclusion that “things just aren’t working,” and you are seeking help to end things amicably. Consider asking yourself the following questions as part of this process:

• What is the nature of your relationship? Is it friendly, combative, abusive, or perhaps just boring? Do you have feelings for your spouse? Are you married just because your children are young, or because you are afraid of being alone? Do you feel you’re just “walking the paces” of the marriage, but there is no substantive connection or feeling that you are doing things together, for the good of you both?
• Are you seeking or considering separation because you are angry, hurt, or frustrated? Is it related to a single, or a series of events? Is it related more to something non-personal, such as financial challenges, or more related to your actual relationship and love for one another? Do you feel truly ready for divorce, or are you perhaps only threatening a separation? These are important distinctions that can make a difference in whether to pursue divorce, or to first try some other avenues of solving the problems.
• Are you ready to address the “real” issues in becoming divorced? This means your lifestyle may change dramatically, your income may be affected, and you may face the loss of friends and scrutiny of family members. If you have children, depending on their age(s), you may need to accept and be ready for them to be confused, hurt, scared, sad, and angry. They will need both you and your spouse’s support, love, and attention to the best of your ability, and you’ll need to be ready to put more time and energy into your relationship with them than ever before.
• Will you be able to face the future with a strong, positive outlook and do whatever you can to act maturely, responsibly, and cooperatively? This may involve compromising, using empathy to understand your spouse’s perspective, and “taking the high road” even if it isn’t easy or comfortable. This is the essence of “Divorce for Grownups,” and we at the Quirk Law Group encourage you to follow this direction as we’ve seen, time and again, that the results from this approach have the highest chance of producing long-term happiness.